January 19, 2009

ugh… i’m feeling so much right now. i’m dreading leaving, i’m so dreading saying goodbye. it’s times like this that just don’t seem fair. i know i’m not the only one, but it seems like just a few of us are in this boat. i feel like i’m always saying goodbye’s. they don’t get any easier as time goes by, or the more goodbyes i say. i know it’s made me stronger (deep down, i know this), but i feel so weak. i hate always having to miss my family, i hate that the time i spend with them just makes it harder to say goodbye. i hate that it’s easier to just stay away than remember how much fuller my life is with my family in it. i hate that i have to choose- i can’t just have it all- my family and my life, together. i wish so much my family would move to the States. i hate that every time i see them is tinged with knowing that it’ll all be over soon, that i’ll have to leave again soon and not see them for a long time.

January 19, 2009

today was a wierd day. i have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now. we/i decorated the house all christmasy today. i love how i always get so stressed out about that whole situation. i think that in that respect, i am somewhat of a perfectionist. i also got really mad at cris i think twice today. and i had a fight with mom, and samuel was going to break up with abbey, but she wasn’t online and by the time he got back from the buzbee’s christmas party, she had gone to bed. awkward sticky situation, let me tell you. it makes me never want to be in a relationship, just to avoid the awkwardness of breaking up. now he probably is going to have to wait until she gets back from her cruise, which will be the 21st, like two seconds before christmas, and that’s always awkward/not a good situation. i really want to get a new computer, but i’m not sure if i want to shell out the money for it right now. i definitely need to get a camera, that’s for sure. i have no idea what to say that i want for christmas. tomorrow, i’m making taco salad for lunch, andt hen we’re having luis and graciela and co. over for dinner. that should be interesting.

saturday, november 8th

January 19, 2009

today was good. i slept in until 11 after going to bed at 3:30 and not falling asleep until at least 4. then i got up and made beef stroganoff for lunch. around three, mom took cris and i for our little “cris and wendy extravaganza”. we went to huembes, and didn’t find anything. then we went to centro comercial, where i got a foot scrub thingy, ponytail holders, and an eyebrow shaper thing.  then we went to metrocentro, where we looked at TV prices because ours just died. we also shopped but i didn’t find anything… cris got a few things. then we had dinner. i had a plato surtido from dona haydee’s and cris had mcdonalds. then we talked in the food court until our movie started. we saw “taken”, which was good, but sad and slightly scary. then we waited outside until dad came and picked us up. cris and i (more me) kind of went on a “fix up the house” rampage when we got home. we plan to continue tomorrow- we’ll see how that goes. tomorrow is no church because it’s voting day. the four of us are going to go- cris, dad, samuel and i. oh yeah, i forgot to mention that the reason i was up so late last night was that samuel and i were having a little “heart to heart”. i love that kid. my siblings are amazing. anyway, wally and i had a long chat today. i don’t feel like writing about it now, though, cause my hand hurts.

thursday, november 6

January 19, 2009

today was cris’ pageant, and she did so well! she got third place and miss congeniality. i was so proud of her- she looked gorgeous, spoke well, walked well, etc. i felt like a little mom or something- bursting with pride. anyway, it was really fun. ehh… i don’t know why i try to journal. i feel like i’ve outgrown it or something… awkward.