June 15, 2008

there are some things you learn best in calm. and some in storm. -willa cather

this is the quote i have at the beginning of my journal that i just finished. i started it october 1st, aka week six of REACH training and finished it may 29, the day we got home from morocco. i can definitely see how that quote proved itself true during that time. morocco definitely had its share of storm, and it had its calm as well. and i learned a lot, through both.

to love at all is to be vulnerable. love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable… the only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell. -c.s lewis

how can i know the man of sorrows
while sitting on cloud nine?
how can i share in sufferings
i run from all the time?
and if my skin had never
touched the flame
i could never say
i know a God bigger than the pain

why is it i want a heart
that never can be broken
when i’ve known a power
perfect in my weakness?
though i say i hate it
when i fall, if i hadn’t,
i wouldn’t know a God
bigger than it all

to know a God of comfort,
i know i’ll have to mourn
to know a God of victory,
i’ll have to go to war
and if i want to know
the Author of all life
live for him
according to His call
i have to know a God
bigger than it all

why is it my words complain
while walking through the fire
when my strength and purity
remains your heart’s desire?
though i know no evils
from your hand,
without struggles,
i wouldn’t know
a God bigger than my plan

every good thing comes from You
every perfect gift
but living in a fallen world
at times, we all get hit
and i’m learning to trust
in the midst of it 

the tide can change so fast, but i will stay

the same through past,
the same in future,
same today

oh weary, tired and worn
let out your sighs
and drop that heavy load you hold
’cause Mine is light
I know you through and through
there’s no need to hide
I want to show you
that love is deep
and high
and wide

for I am constant
I am near
I am peace
that shatters
all your secret fears
I am holy
I am wise
I’m the only one who knows
your heart’s desires

“but the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him.” -john 4:25

the whole idea of worship was such a huge theme for me during my time in morocco.

i saw a movie
it just wasn’t the same
it was happy
i was sad
it made me miss you
oh-so-bad

take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord to thee
take my moments
and my days
let them flow
in ceaseless praise
let them flow
in ceaseless praise

give me one pure and holy passion
give me one magnificent obsession
give me one glorious ambition for my life
to know and follow hard after you
to grow as your disciple in the truth
this world is empty, pale and poor
compared to knowing you, my Lord
lead me on and i will run after You
lead me on and i will run after You

fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze… do not be afraid, for i am with you… “you are my witnesses”, declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I AM He. -isaiah 43:1,2,10

before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear. -isaiah 65:24

if you believe, you will recieve whatever you ask for in prayer. -matthew 21:22

tonight i watched “blast from the past” with my cousin jeanette, and i actually liked it. i wasn’t expecting to. this morning i checked my email and found an update from kayla on the whole “sitch”. we’ll see how that goes… it was nice to get an update because i’ve been dying of curiosity!

tomorrow is church at northwest chapel, and i think we’re going to the vineyard joshua house thing at night.

i get to see my family on friday night!!!

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